English Summary/英文概要： A game-changing exploration of relationships that explains how embracing the power of incompatibility can ultimately enrich our connections with others. From MBTIs in dating bios to debates about attachment styles and love languages, compatibility has become the currency of modern romance. We compare values, traits and habits in the search for a partner who ‘completes us’. The perfect match is no longer a fairy-tale — it’s an expectation. But what if our fixation on compatibility is undermining the very intimacy we desire? What if the relentless search for the right fit leaves us less tolerant of difference and less prepared for the realities of long-term love? Dr Sanna Balsari-Palsule challenges the soulmate myth and offers a more expansive, nuanced approach to connection. She shows readers how to harness incompatibility by introducing practical frameworks and tools to help distinguish between relationship deal breakers and deal benders, and high-stakes and low-stakes incompatibilities. Because not every difference is a flaw, some form the foundations of lasting connection. Blending the latest science with thoughtful reflection, Sanna will empower readers to let go of the belief that compatibility equals happiness and instead discover how embracing difference can deepen our relationships and enrich our lives

Chinese Summary/中文概要： 这是一项关于人际关系的颠覆性探索，它阐释了拥抱不兼容性的力量如何最终能增进我们与他人的联系。从约会简介中的 MBTI（迈尔斯 - 布里格斯性格分类法），到关于依恋类型和爱的语言的争论，兼容性已成为现代爱情的 “硬通货”。我们比较价值观、特质和习惯，只为寻找那个能 “使我们变得完整” 的伴侣。完美匹配不再是童话故事 —— 而是一种期待。但倘若我们对兼容性的执着正在破坏我们所渴望的亲密关系呢？倘若一味地寻找 “合适的人” 会让我们对差异的容忍度降低，也让我们对长期爱情的现实准备不足呢？桑娜・巴尔萨里 - 帕尔苏莱博士对 “灵魂伴侣” 这一神话提出了挑战，并为建立人际关系提供了一种更具包容性、更细致入微的方法。她向读者展示了如何利用不兼容性，引入实用的框架和工具，帮助区分关系中的 “绝对禁忌” 和 “可以妥协之处”，以及高风险和低风险的不兼容性。因为并非每一处差异都是缺点，有些差异恰恰构成了持久关系的基础。桑娜将最新的科学知识与深刻的思考相结合，让读者不再相信 “兼容性等同于幸福”，并进而发现拥抱差异如何能加深我们的人际关系、丰富我们的生活。(wanda)